Free Frank Warner

Kiss at the Vancouver riot

It turns out an Australian was the only person to do something creative in Vancouver, Canada, three nights ago when the Canucks lost in the Stanley Cup finals.

Scott Jones of Australia was captured by a Getty photographer as Jones knelt down and kissed his Canadian girlfriend, Alexandra Thomas, who had fallen as Vancouver police chased a crowd down a street. The riot kiss is the shot seen around the world.

Jones said he was trying to comfort Alexandra in the panic. Meanwhile, the natives were smashing cars and stealing from stores because the World Champion Boston Bruins had humiliated their team 4-0 in the last game.

Pretty poor losers, those Canuck fans. Now they're cursed. Kiss that Stanley Cup goodbye forever.

Frank Warner

Cleveland's curse: Dirk Nowitzki beats LeBron James; Mavericks are champions!

The Dallas Mavericks have humiliated the Miami Heat 105-95 in the final game of the NBA Finals. It took the Mavericks only six games to defeat the Heat, which had hoped to profit from LeBron James' sell-out of Cleveland.

The Dallas Mavericks are 2011 NBA Champions of the World!

Dirk Nowitzki has proven that, except for the 1983 Philadelphia '76ers, he is probably the best basketball player who ever lived. LeBron has found himself a permanent place in the hall of losers.

Congratulations, Dallas Mavericks! Congratulations, Cleveland! It's a good thing you lost LeBron.

Frank Warner

President Obama likes Michael Vick, and dogs, too

President Obama doesn’t necessarily want the Philadelphia Eagles to beat the Minnesota Vikings in tonight’s game at Lincoln Financial Field, but he is pleased the Eagles trusted Michael Vick enough to hire him when others would not.

The Huffington Post reports:

The Obama administration confirmed on Monday afternoon that the president, in a call with the owner of the Philadelphia Eagles, expressed gratitude for the team’s decision to give a second chance to quarterback Michael Vick.

But the nexus of the call, spokesman Bill Burton told The Huffington Post, was on the team’s plans to use alternative energy sources at their stadium.

Speaking for the White House yesterday, Burton said:

The President did place a call to Mr. Lurie to discuss plans for the use of alternative energy at Lincoln Financial Field, during which they spoke about that and other issues. He of course condemns the crimes that Michael Vick was convicted of but, as he’s said previously, he does think that individuals who have paid for their crimes should have an opportunity to contribute to society again.

The Huffington Post said Burton’s statement seemed to “patch up” Obama’s relations with those who feared the president forgave Vick too easily for killing dogs. This clearly is a delicate subject.

Now win tonight, No. 7!

Frank Warner

Cliff Lee! Cliff Lee!

I'm down here in Philadelphia at the 2011 World Championship Parade. Peace has broken out. A sailor just kissed a nurse. Oh my: An imam hugged a rabbi! Cliff Lee is back! Cliff Lee is back!

Cliff Lee is a Philadelphia Phillie again!

Frank Warner

I’m poppin’ champagne here: Phillies sign Cliff Lee!

Could this be true? It can’t be. But I’m reading it on the Internet, so it must be.

It seems my Philadelphia Phillies have signed left-handed Yankee-killer Cliff Lee to a five-year contract that is destined to extend the Golden Age of the Fightin’ Phils. Reports are that Lee gave up an extra $40 million just to avoid the Yankees. That’s hard to believe, but who knows? In baseball, this guy is the real deal.

As the Philadelphia Daily News reports, it’s Merry Cliffmas!

The headline in the New York Post: Yanks Off Cliff. Heh.

Leave messages. I’ll be partying all day!

Frank Warner

Eagles 59, Redskins 28

What an amazing football game for Michael Vick and the Philadelphia Eagles in Washington last night. The Eagles trounced the Redskins, 59-28.

The game had too much action to describe here, though the Philadelphia Daily News came up with a great headline: "ROADKILL."

Frank Warner

Ryan Howard’s ‘Top 10’ on David Letterman

Philadelphia Phillies slugger Ryan Howard was on “Late Night with David Letterman” last night. Howard’s “Top 10 reasons to watch the baseball playoffs”:

10. Fox’s coverage now extends to the postgame shower.

9. What are you gonna do, watch hockey?

8. One lucky viewer will win a free Tommy John surgery.

7. We just had the Phillie Phanatic clipped, wormed and neutered.

6. Trips to the mound now include a fabulous “Glee”-style dance number.

5. The crack of the bat replaced by a “boing” sound.

4. Do you really need an excuse to sit on the couch and drink beer?

3. Mention my name and you can rebroadcast the game without express written consent of Major League Baseball.

2. It’s about time the Yankees got some attention from the national media.

And the Number 1 reason to watch this year’s postseason:

If you’re watching “The Late Show,” you'll watch anything.

OK, no home runs there, but a solid hit.

Frank Warner

Halladay's no-hitter

Former Philadelphia Phillies slugger Mike Schmidt said this morning that Roy Halladay's no hitter in the playoff game against the Reds last night was the biggest moment in Phillies baseball history.

That's a pretty generous statement from Schmidt, who gave Phillies fans the biggest moment with his big hits to win the 1980 World Series.

But Halladay was grand.

Frank

World Cup: Adults shouldn’t play soccer

Soccer clearly is a child’s game. When adults play it, it just gets ugly.

Ask the family of Andres Escobar.

Frank Warner

Faked photo shows Obama laughing at Beckham as English give up soccer goal

For some reason, President Obama's faked reaction to a soccer game is news. In the altered photo, Obama is laughing after a U.S. adult soccer team (yes, grown men play!) scores on the English team, and on a screen behind Obama we see David Beckham pouting.

The dead give-away on the fakery is that Beckham's face is not reflected in Obama's shiny table.

Frank Warner