Free Frank Warner

Batman is George W. Bush

Hollywood, take note. As Andrew Klavan writes:

There seems to me no question that the Batman film “The Dark Knight,” currently breaking every box office record in history, is at some level a paean of praise to the fortitude and moral courage that has been shown by George W. Bush in this time of terror and war. Like W, Batman is vilified and despised for confronting terrorists in the only terms they understand. Like W, Batman sometimes has to push the boundaries of civil rights to deal with an emergency, certain that he will re-establish those boundaries when the emergency is past.

And like W, Batman understands that there is no moral equivalence between a free society -- in which people sometimes make the wrong choices -- and a criminal sect bent on destruction. The former must be cherished even in its moments of folly; the latter must be hounded to the gates of Hell. ...

“And like another such film, last year’s “300,” “The Dark Knight” is making a fortune depicting the values and necessities that the Bush administration cannot seem to articulate for beans.

It makes you scratch your bat-cowl. You liberate 50 million people, and Hollywood remains predisposed to celebrate the Joker who wanted to keep those same 50 million in chains.

Savor the exception. See “The Dark Knight.”

Frank Warner

George Carlin is dead

George Carlin was an active democrat in many ways. And man, was he funny.

He died yesterday.

Frank Warner

Tony Auth goes bipartisan

Yesterday’s political cartoon in The Philadelphia Inquirer may signal a sea change.

Tony Auth, whose cartoons are consistently brilliant even if they are predictably anti-Bush, drew a two-panel masterpiece.

In the first panel, labeled “Then,” a Republican elephant is saying, “Let’s go into Iraq without any thought about the consequences.”

In the second panel, “Now,” a Democratic donkey says, “Let’s get out of Iraq without any thought about the consequences.”

I’m sure that cartoon produced scowls throughout The Inquirer’s heavily Democratic newsroom, but it reflects a pattern of responsible second thoughts popping up in the mainstream news media over the last week.

The Democrats appear to have used their control of Congress so childishly that even their friends in the press are embarrassed.

Frank Warner

Remember old comic book advertisements?

Remember those comic book ads that offered you a Kryptonite rock for $2.50? Or see-through X-ray glasses for $1.99?

The “Say No to Crack” blog has some great examples of a fine comic book tradition. These kooky ads are as American as killing off Superman and then bringing him back.

Did anyone buy those X-Ray Specs? Could your really see through your own skin?

Frank Warner

Tehran tyrant protests ‘300’: Hollywood is preparing way for liberation of Iran!

I can’t get enough of the Iranian dictatorship’s protests over the movie “300.”

First, it’s just wonderful to see a tyrant squirm. And secondly, I love how Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s premise is that the White House has Hollywood in its back pocket. Ha!

UNITED NATIONS (AP) – Iran’s UN Mission expressed outrage Thursday at “deliberate distortions” of ancient Persia in the blockbuster movie “300” and suggested it is propaganda for western efforts to “demonize the Iranian nation.”

In a statement, the mission denounced the “crude demonization of Persians as the embodiment of evil, moral corruption.”…

The statement from Iran's UN Mission asked: “Why the film fails to convey a bare minimum truth about Iranian history and indulges in invention perverse, demonic images of Persians.”

“Indeed, the movie’s distorted fabrications about the Persians cannot be isolated from the current concerted efforts by certain Western interest circles to systematically demonize the Iranian nation,” the mission added.

“The movie’s slavish imitation of the anti-Iran discourses by those circles is inextricably tied up with its voice-over metaphoric thrust, reflecting a subtle propaganda that feels no obligation to respecting the sensibilities of the Iranian people.”

Persians oppose democracy? The movie is loosely based on the 480 B.C. battle of Thermopylae, Greece, in which 300 Spartans and 4,000 allies took on 100,000 Persians. After three days, the pro-democracy Spartans lose, but they’ve inflicted so many casualties on the thuggish Persians that democracy can live to see another day.

Persia is the old name of Iran. Fifty-one percent of Iranians are considered Persian, and a mix of other ethnic groups, including only 3 percent Arabs, make up the rest of Iran’s population.

The specific scenes of “300” are based on a comic book, called a “graphic novel.” It’s no wonder that Iranian dictator-puppet Ahmadinejad is so upset. His whole life is a comic book.

‘Savage image of Iran.’ Iranian Press TV reports:

President Mahmud Ahmadinejad has made an indirect reference to the controversial Hollywood film 300, saying that the film represents “psychological war” waged by western powers to hinder Iran's progress.

“Today they are trying to tamper with history by making a film that portrays a savage image of Iran,” Ahmadinejad said Wednesday [March 21] in a televised address to mark the start of the Iranian New Year.

‘Tom and Jerry’ conspiracy. The New York Sun reports that Iran’s theocracy has a history of finding conspiracies in American movies:

Over the past few years, the Iranian government has produced films, TV movies, and music videos about Israelis stealing the eyeballs of Palestinian Arab children, the Statue of Liberty as Satan, and President Bush as the reincarnation of Hitler, among countless others in the same vein.

Hollywood is another popular target of Iranian state-controlled films. A recent notable example was a special on the “Tom and Jerry” cartoons as a Zionist conspiracy.

The Iranian News Channel on July 27 did a report on Hollywood as a “weapon” of the Zionist lobby, with Disney being its leader. The report cited “Pirates of the Caribbean” as an example.

A ‘Fantasia’ of Xerxes. I can picture Ahmadinejad watching “300” in a private theater, imagining himself to be Xerxes, the 10-foot-tall Persian leader, but then complaining that Xerxes never nuked Greece.

Frank Warner

The Mexico quagmire

I like this line by Mark Russell:

Six thousand troops to patrol the border. Will they come home as soon as Mexico forms a government?

The punch line

Except for the Saddamite fascists and the Bush-must-die Democrats watching TV at home, Stephen Colbert missed the mark with most of his jokes at the White House Correspondent Dinner last night. But this one was a perfect shot:

“I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.”

Yeah, it’s biting, but it has enough truth that everyone can agree with, even the Iraqi parliament.

The best way to respond to such ridicule: Iraq’s elected leaders should complete their democratic government and start governing.

Frank Warner

Steroid slump update: Major League Baseball home run rate again slips below 5,000 a year

With an average 130 games played per team as of yesterday, the 30 Major League Baseball teams were on a course to hit a paltry 4,957 total homes runs this year.

That would be the fewest home runs ever hit in a year since the league expanded to 30 teams in 1998. From 1998 through 2004, the annual league home-run total has been over 5,000.

As of last evening, the baseball teams had hit 3,972 home runs, which was 396 home runs behind last year’s pace. Last year, over nearly 162 games per team, the home-run total was 5,451.

Suspicious slump. There’s still time for the teams to step up the home-run output, but the slugging slump is going to look awfully curious in the first year the spotlight was focused on baseball cheating with steroids.

Frank Warner

SEE ALSO: It’s official: Major League Baseball 2005 total 5,017 home runs is lowest-ever for 30 teams.

Castro talks. And he wants Stroh’s beer

It’s sad to see a tyrant thirsty for a beer. Roll video.

The real ‘Deep Throat’ didn’t smoke

Every political junky in America is going back over Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein’s written references to "Deep Throat" in 1972-74 to see if their clues match up to the real Deep Throat. Not all of them do.

For one thing, former FBI agent W. Mark Felt, who was revealed yesterday as Woodward and Bernstein’s super-secret news sources on Watergate, was not a smoker in the years of the scandal.

The garage meeting. Take a look at this excerpt from Woodward and Bernstein’s "All the President’s Men" (page 136, paperback):

"He [Woodward] left New York on the last Eastern shuttle and, from a telephone booth at National Airport, called Deep Throat at home.

"They had recently arranged a method by which Woodward could call to request a garage meeting without identifying himself. Woodward put his suitcase in a locker and got a hamburger. He took a cab to a downtown hotel, waited 10 minutes, took another, walked the final stretch and arrived at the garage at 1:30 a.m.

"Deep Throat was already there, smoking a cigarette."

That was in October 1972, when Deep Throat told Woodward there were 50 people employed by President Nixon’s White House and the Committee to Re-elect the President to plan dirty tricks against Democratic presidential candidates.

‘What’s up?’ And in January 1973, after Woodward took another cab to meet Deep Throat again at the garage (page 270):

"Deep Throat was waiting. He looked worn, but was smiling. ‘What’s up?’ he asked mock-offhandedly, and took a deep drag on his cigarette."

Adrian Havill, author of "Deep Truth," about Woodward and Bernstein, now says in Salon.com:

"Woodward and Bernstein both said ‘All the President’s Men’ was gospel, and that they didn’t embellish. For one thing, they described Deep Throat as a heavy smoker -- but Felt stopped smoking in 1943. There are still things that don’t jibe, and I think we still need to look at them.

"Felt suggested in many interviews, and in his own memoir in 1979, that anyone who would reveal the kind of information Deep Throat did would be a traitor. Now today, we have many people lauding Felt as a patriot and an American hero. A lot of so-called Watergate experts have got to be wondering about today’s news, but I think one reason that all of them, and I myself, were wrong is because Felt made so many remarks about being a traitor; if that won’t throw you off, I don’t know what will. He had a good story." 

Time for medals. Felt was no traitor. He exposed Nixon’s lies when that president had decided he was above the law. Felt should be awarded two medals: one for getting the truth out, another for getting away with getting the truth out.

And maybe he should get another medal for giving up smoking.

Frank Warner