David Brooks said on MSNBC yesterday, “I sat next to a Republican senator once at dinner and he had his hand on my inner thigh the whole time. I was like, ehh, get me out of here.”
Here are the Top 10 other undignified acts David Brooks has tolerated at dinner:
10. “A Republican governor grabbed my bridge to nowhere. I finished the leg of lamb, but I asked myself why.”
9. “I sat next to a Democratic congressman who told me he loved me. He ate my fries and billed everything to Fannie Mae.”
8. “I sat between Obama and Sarkozy and they couldn’t keep their eyes off the Brazilian chick.”
7. “Putin dropped smoked beluga on my lap. I was like, happy to be there.”
6. “Nancy Pelosi just stared at me while I ate two stacks of pancakes. Horrifying. I ordered two stacks more.”
5. “Ahmadinejad hanged a man even as I waved furiously for a waiter to bring the check.”
4. “Councilman Barry had crack-induced sex with a waitress on my table. Nearly tipped my Chablis.”
3. “Vice President Biden’s hair plugs chased my inner Hezbollah through an Amtrak diner car, but that might have been a dream.”
2. “At the Blue Marlin, I was flattered when Governor Sanford told me King David can have anything he wants.”
And the No. 1 indignity David Brooks has suffered at dinner:
“Cheney waterboarded me at Clyde’s, Georgetown. I nearly refused dessert.”
It’s just David Brooks’ bad luck in restaurants. It’s true. People ain’t got class no more.
Frank Warner
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See also: Dissenting Justice: For David Brooks: A Question About That Male Republican Senator and Your Inner Thigh.
I couldn't really work out what any of this means (or what you were smoking when you wrote it) but I still laughed pretty hard.
Posted by: Nicholas | July 11, 2009 at 03:46 PM
I'm calling BS on Mr. Brooks. How does one eat dinner when one of your hands is on some dude's inner thigh?
However, it does remind me of a disgusting NSFW joke!
You ask a man, "If you went camping with a friend, and you woke up in the middle of the night with your pants around your ankles, your butt bleeding, and he was laying next to you smoking a cigarette, would you tell anyone?"
Hopefully, after the initial disgust they say 'no', and you reply, "Want to go camping?"
I apologize for writing this.
Posted by: Kevin | July 12, 2009 at 02:45 PM
Well, Kevin, you win dinner with David.
Posted by: Frank Warner | July 12, 2009 at 04:25 PM
Wait, are you saying Mr. Brooks is not a role model any more?
Posted by: jj mollo | July 13, 2009 at 12:04 AM
Was he a role model? Didn't he write something about bobos? Heck, I don't even know what a bobo is.
Posted by: Frank Warner | July 13, 2009 at 02:33 AM